Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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