It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
