I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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