My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
