There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
