That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
