i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.