why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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