honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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