Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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