Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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