ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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