i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Green mimosas i think yes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
