the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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