My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
