i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
