he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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