Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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