They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
