thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
