Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
