We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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