I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
