ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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