i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
