And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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