What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
