we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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