party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
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I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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