Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
