I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
