You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
