Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."