I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
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I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!