just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
