I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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