So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
