I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
