I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
