You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
