Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
