From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
