chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize