Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
