Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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