I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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