i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
