Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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