Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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