tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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