I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
