NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
In America we eat man semen.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
