I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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