Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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