drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize