Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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