I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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