I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
