I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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