no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
