She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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