In the future we'll all be gay
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
