i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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