people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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