Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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