Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
