It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
