FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
