I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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