if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize