I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
